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Post by johnc on Sept 24, 2019 17:35:38 GMT
Or at least I have been told we are! Wife dragged me along to see a house on Sunday morning, had the estate agents round to see our's today, has negotiated a price with the seller of the house we saw and has asked me to instruct a Solicitor tomorrow!
Given that our first real discussion on moving was on Saturday (when I said I was really happy where I was) I feel somewhat put upon and bullied that by the middle of the next week we are plotting how to spend loads of money we don't have! Maybe this is why the M5 received minimal resistance - it has been plotted for some time. She tells me this is the forever house - I think it is the house I will be working on forever!
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Post by LandieMark on Sept 24, 2019 18:01:26 GMT
Sorry John, but fuck that for a game of soldiers. Best of luck.
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Post by michael on Sept 24, 2019 18:04:43 GMT
That sounds awful. We’ve been going through the house move process only to decide to save the many pounds and stay put for now.
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Post by Boxer6 on Sept 24, 2019 18:06:51 GMT
Sorry John, but fuck that for a game of soldiers. Best of luck. +1. Seems to me that's the sort of behaviour guaranteed to strain the bounds of matrimony!!! I do NOT envy you the next few weeks.
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Post by Martin on Sept 24, 2019 18:09:24 GMT
Sorry John, but fuck that for a game of soldiers. Best of luck. +1 I don’t know quite what I’d do in your situation, it’s easy when you’re not in the particular situation, but I’d have used the word no by now!
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Post by bryan on Sept 24, 2019 19:08:19 GMT
Unless it is a unique dream home what's the rush?
I don't do well being railroaded and that seems remarkably quick for a life changing decision.
I feel for you John, that's a really crap situation to deal with..... hopefully the survey will throw some deal killing nasties!!
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Post by Bob Sacamano v2.0 on Sept 24, 2019 19:14:23 GMT
I think all you can do is feign a heart attack and hope that the distraction stalls things for a while, hopefully until to prospective house is sold.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2019 19:15:39 GMT
Is it time for the D word before the B word hits, sorry not nice but looks like you are being set up.
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Post by PG on Sept 24, 2019 19:21:55 GMT
Some time ago we had a discussion about how men and women "award points" in relationships in different ways. Men give points according to scale. Women do not - any action gives only one point.
Man view. M5 is worth way, way less than a new house. By several orders of magnitude. Wife view. You got an M5 = 1 point. You therefore have to give your wife a new house to offset that point. Simples.
Face facts. You're moving house. Sorry.
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Post by Martin on Sept 24, 2019 19:34:21 GMT
Some time ago we had a discussion about how men and women "award points" in relationships in different ways. Men give points according to scale. Women do not - any action gives only one point. Man view. M5 is worth way, way less than a new house. By several orders of magnitude. Wife view. You got an M5 = 1 point. You therefore have to give your wife a new house to offset that point. Simples. Face facts. You're moving house. Sorry. Yes, but John let his wife buy an X4, that has to be worth several points, he should be in credit for years!
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Post by PetrolEd on Sept 24, 2019 19:38:49 GMT
Is the missus a hottie?
Yes, then she can do what she likes knowing that you appreciate your batting well above
No, divorce the bitch
Show us the details. The house not the wife
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Post by Stuntman on Sept 24, 2019 20:24:46 GMT
Buy her a nice bunch of flowers. 1 point. Take her to see a concert or comedian she likes. 1 point. You are now back in credit on the pointsometer, and can now spend the house money on a Ferrari Seriously - this needs to be about love, trust and partnership. I'd be telling her how surprising her actions have appeared, and how I am currently feeling about that. Then go from there, depending on the response. Fingers crossed.
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Post by ChrisM on Sept 24, 2019 20:32:57 GMT
Downsizing or upsizing?
Logic should say that as retirement approaches, if you have not already paid off the mortgage then either you stay put if you think you can continue to pay until the house is owned outright, else you have to downsize to somewhere you can afford on retirement income and still afford holidays etc. So you need to benefit from the sale significantly (financially) to pay off the mortgage, cost of moving etc.
I'm another who does not envy you in this situation.
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Post by rodge on Sept 25, 2019 2:39:22 GMT
All the best with it!
We bought here in California and moved in early last month. I’ve been exhausted for the last 3 months. Between packing to move, moving and then traveling a lot with work, and spending every spare moment working on the house, I’m ready for a holiday.
Then again, we got a 5 bed with a pool that overlooks a park with mountains in the distance in exchange for our 4 bed semi in Dublin, with a view of the neighbours Polo (aka the silver bullet), so it’s not all that bad...
At least you got the car first. I’m still waiting to get mine!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2019 8:00:55 GMT
I think you need to say something if you feel ambushed - acknowledge the car first as otherwise it'll be the first thing thrown back at you!
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Post by Tim on Sept 25, 2019 9:08:05 GMT
Wow! Is that characteristic of your missus?
I know that Mrs Tim has managed to train (?) me over the years to be a lot more instinctive in a lot of decisions but we would certainly have spent some time discussing a decision like this. We're currently in a similar position to Michael, i.e. house ready to sell, nothing eciting coming onto the market, cash being saved for the next few months until we see something we like.
Perhaps Mrs John thinks you aren't really fussed where you stay so she's doing you a favour by taking the decision? Were you procrastinating before you moved to the current house?
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Post by johnc on Sept 25, 2019 11:42:51 GMT
I have to say that our house is immaculate and has many thousands of my man hours invested in it. I even removed 30 ft of 8ft tall beach hedge by hand, dug out the roots with a pick axe and then filled two skips with earth that I dug out (by hand) down the side of the house to make a new driveway. I then manually spread 10 tons of bottoming and 12 tons of gravel to make the envy of the neighbours so I have a lot invested in it (and that was before I dug out and re-turfed the whole front of the house and built a retaining wall). I am also very fond of the heated floors in the bathrooms and the heated mirrors which never mist over after a shower - small things that make me smile.
However I am a realist and I know we are going to move now that my wife has that bee in her bonnet. She has some legitimate concerns about some older neighbours who may die/move to a nursing home/downsize and the impact that might have on us if a 3 or 4 car owning family move in next door or across the street and start to create a parking/access issue or a young family with footballs being kicked at cars. However there is one bright spark that gets my interest: the estate agent loves our house and thinks he can get top price for it. He also gave my wife an indication of the amount the surveyors are using as a base value in our area per square meter. When I apply that amount to the property we are looking at, I reckon we could be getting a serious bargain because it is currently off market and no estate agents have been involved. The home report highlights nothing that needs attention from a structural/repair point of view but the old kitchen, bathrooms and decoration are all going to require (in my wife's view) fairly instant attention although they are all quite workable as they are.
I spoke to Nationwide this morning about extending our mortgage to 9 or 10 years (we only have 2 years to go on ours but with stamp duty, other costs, the extra for the new house and a contingency for my wife's fairly instant upgrades) although we could probably clear most of it in the next 3 years when the final endowments mature. What a ball ache though - I have to tell them the highest balance on credit cards over the last 4 weeks (not the balance on the statement) and I have to be exact - I asked why, when they can do a credit search and get all the information and I can tell them what I have but no, that's not sufficient! And just to cap it all I need to have a 3 hour telephone call before they approve the mortgage. I asked why and was told so that they can be sure I get the right product for me. I told him I knew what product I wanted and he said that didn't matter, they would still require the call! How depressing and it had better not be about cross selling me every product under the sun.
I can't really complain about my wife. She is pretty attractive and most of the time relatively easy to live with. The good thing is that she can't have horses if we get this house (which has a very large double garage with electric door). You can tell I have been beaten into submission already!
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Post by PG on Sept 25, 2019 11:53:09 GMT
You're doing the right thing - seeing the positives in moving. That way peace and harmony lie. :-) Of the new house is undervalued that could be a really good find.
Re the mortgage rigmarole, I feel for you. We were remortgaging one of our rented properties and the bloody hoops you had to jump through were just ridiculous. I did say that if I just sawed a leg off as security and sent them that would it speed up the process? My sarcasm was not appreciated as we moved onto the next interminable question.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2019 12:14:54 GMT
Mrs P wants to move house and I don't. I have to bite my lip now when the neighbours are winding me up because I just get "Let's move then" chucked at me if I moan about them out loud!
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Post by PetrolEd on Sept 25, 2019 12:18:11 GMT
Sounds like an exciting opportunity. Of course you know you'll be moving again once the SNP carry out their second referendum and you leave the UK.
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Post by Tim on Sept 25, 2019 12:30:01 GMT
I'm doing a remortgage through a broker and am not aware of being required to spend 3 hours on the phone to them, having said that the LTV isn't particularly high so perhaps that helps me - I'm guessing if John's house is a 'forever' house then the mortgage is being ramped up.
One thing the broker has said is that they aren't keen on Nationwide who also have significantly tighter affordability criteria - the most I could afford with them is less than 70% of what NatWest (for example) will offer.
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Post by johnc on Sept 25, 2019 12:32:35 GMT
Sounds like an exciting opportunity. Of course you know you'll be moving again once the SNP carry out their second referendum and you leave the UK. Not something I want to think about! There will be thousands of others leaving the country too so finding a buyer may not be so easy!
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Post by johnc on Sept 25, 2019 12:35:18 GMT
I'm doing a remortgage through a broker and am not aware of being required to spend 3 hours on the phone to them, having said that the LTV isn't particularly high so perhaps that helps me - I'm guessing if John's house is a 'forever' house then the mortgage is being ramped up. One thing the broker has said is that they aren't keen on Nationwide who also have significantly tighter affordability criteria - the most I could afford with them is less than 70% of what NatWest (for example) will offer. Even with the additional borrowing we are less than 25% of value so if they are difficult about it, we will just go through a broker. I have been saving through Nationwide for the last 30 years but they do appear to be a bit anal about things.
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Post by Tim on Sept 25, 2019 13:31:42 GMT
That makes no sense then. I'd just head straight to the broker and let them sort it out. Nationwide don't appear to value loyalty (although neither does anyone else nowadays).
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Post by LandieMark on Sept 25, 2019 13:36:23 GMT
I've found Nationwide a pain when tryi g to deal with direct. It was much easier to use my IFA.
Now you've given us some more detail, I agree that it is an opportunity. I would still be a little annoyed at the way in which it was done though!
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Post by racingteatray on Sept 25, 2019 13:50:31 GMT
Now you've given us some more detail, I agree that it is an opportunity. I would still be a little annoyed at the way in which it was done though! This ^^.
I suspect you've done the right thing in the long run by engaging constructively. But I'd be looking for serious credit as a result, M5 be damned.
My wife mutters about moving house in London from time to time, but mercifully she's not really the type to pro-actively rush off like that, as she likes to try and get me "as the man" to do a lot of the legwork. You can take the Italian out of Italy but...
It also usually dies away when I point out the sheer cost of doing so in London, as any worthwhile move would be liable to cost us a six-figure sum in stamp duty alone.
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Post by michael on Sept 25, 2019 14:37:26 GMT
It also usually dies away when I point out the sheer cost of doing so in London, as any worthwhile move would be liable to cost us a six-figure sum in stamp duty alone.
This was my rational for putting a pause on a move to Kent. The moving costs become so significant you need to be sure the house is right as to move on costs so much before you even think about moving up.
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Post by johnc on Sept 25, 2019 14:51:28 GMT
Stamp duty is one of the main reasons we need to extend the mortgage. We could bridge the gap between the cost of the 2 houses by cashing everything in but stamp duty is just a step too far. It does stick in the throat but at least it is nowhere near 6 figures which is just State sponsored extortion. If I am going to have to extend the mortgage then I may as well add everything in and keep my safety net tucked up in the Building Society.
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Post by Big Blue on Sept 25, 2019 22:19:56 GMT
I look at new houses and plots of land on a weekly basis and have no intention of moving just yet but I did do a load of man-maths for selling one rental property I have with no mortgage, buying another in zone 1 (Pimlico near the river) and using the rent to pay the mortgage off so we can have a zone 1 flat when we retire. In the end it was madness because of....stamp duty. I can, therefore, see your wife's point of view if she loves the place. Maybe a bit more lead-in or subtlety might have been used, but that's not for me to say. Just enjoy planning the new bathrooms and kitchen.
I've seen Racing's house: don't move. Good position and nice setting.
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Post by johnc on Sept 26, 2019 4:23:46 GMT
My wife used to be a property developer for several years up until 2010 when the banks pulled all funding but she is easily drawn back into the excitement of buying something, doing lots of work and significantly increasing its value. She used to go and view properties and have an offer submitted within hours so I suppose for her it's nothing out of the ordinary.
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